Freeing Yourself from the Grip of Judgments

Introduction

In our daily lives, we often find ourselves in situations where we judge or are judged. These judgments, whether positive or negative, color our reality and limit our perception of the world. But what is a judgment, really? And how can we free ourselves from it to live a more serene and authentic life?

Judgment Colors Our Reality

Every day, we form opinions about people, situations, and even ourselves. These opinions, or judgments, act as filters that color our reality. For example, if we judge a person as being 'difficult,' we tend to see only the aspects of their behavior that confirm this opinion, ignoring the other facets of their personality.

Example from Cassie: My cat Cassie never judges. She observes the world with curiosity and accepts each moment as it is. Whether she's watching birds from the balcony or interacting with me, she doesn't seem to have any prejudices. She lives in the present moment, without labeling or categorizing. It's a precious lesson for us: reality is much richer and more nuanced than our judgments allow us to see.

Judgments Reinforce Duality

Judgments create duality: good/bad, right/wrong, beautiful/ugly. This duality limits our ability to see the complexity and beauty of life. By judging, we place ourselves in a position of separation rather than unity.

Example from Cassie: Cassie doesn't see other animals as 'friends' or 'enemies.' She observes them and interacts with them without prejudice. Each encounter is a new experience, without expectations or preconceived judgments.

Labels Limit People

When we label people, we reduce them to a single dimension. A person is not simply 'shy' or 'outgoing'; they are much more complex than that. Labels can be useful for communication, but they can also limit our understanding of others.

Example from Cassie: Cassie doesn't label the other cats in the neighborhood. She observes them and interacts with them without prejudice. Each encounter is a new experience, without expectations or preconceived judgments.

Cultural and Historical Judgments: Changing Perceptions

Our judgments are often influenced by our culture and history. What was considered 'normal' or 'acceptable' in one era may be seen differently today. This shows that judgments are not absolute, but rather social constructs that evolve over time.

Example from Cassie: Cassie doesn't judge other cats based on their breed or past behavior. Each interaction is a new experience for her, without prejudice or expectations.

Exercise: Revisiting a "Negative" Event

Take a moment to think about an event you considered negative. Try to see it from a different angle. What did you learn from this experience? How did you grow as a person?

Example from Cassie: One day, Cassie was frightened by a loud noise. Instead of judging this experience as 'bad,' she learned to be more vigilant and better understand her environment. She turned a negative experience into a learning opportunity.

Judgment Creates Conflict

Judgments can create conflicts, whether with ourselves or with others. By judging, we create barriers that prevent communication and mutual understanding.

Example from Cassie: When Cassie meets a new cat, she doesn't judge it immediately. She takes the time to observe and understand its intentions before reacting. This allows her to avoid unnecessary conflicts.

Vigilance and Judgments

Being vigilant means being aware of our own judgments. This doesn't mean we should judge ourselves for judging, but rather observe our thoughts with curiosity and openness.

Example from Cassie: Cassie is vigilant. She reacts to loud noises or sudden movements, but she doesn't qualify these experiences as 'good' or 'bad.' She observes and reacts without moral judgment.

Practice: Observing Judgments

Take a moment each day to observe your thoughts. When you catch yourself judging, simply note it without judging yourself. This awareness is the first step to freeing yourself from judgments.

Five Practical Tips for Observing Judgments

1. Practice Mindfulness: Be present at every moment and observe your thoughts without attaching to them.

2. Breathe: Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. This can help you anchor yourself in the present moment and observe your thoughts without being carried away by them.

3. Question Your Judgments: Ask yourself why you judge a situation or person in a certain way. Is it based on facts or assumptions?

4. Cultivate Compassion: Try to see situations from the perspective of others. Compassion can help dissolve judgments.

5. Learn from Animals: Observe how animals, like Cassie, live without judgments. They can be great masters of presence and acceptance.

Positive Judgments: Another Form of Limitation

Judgments are not always negative. Telling someone they are 'wonderful' can also be a limiting label. Cassie doesn't 'compliment' the birds, she simply observes them. She doesn't make judgments, whether positive or negative.

Personal Example: One day, I judged a colleague as 'selfish' because he didn't greet me. By observing this thought, I realized he might have been absorbed in his own challenges. This realization dissolved my frustration.

Additional Exercise

Take a day to note every judgment that arises, even mundane ones like 'this weather is horrible.' Then, reframe these thoughts into neutral observations, like 'it's raining, and that changes my plans.' This will help you anchor the practice in your daily life.

The Roots of Judgments

Our judgments are often inherited from our family, education, and media. Identifying them is the first step to freeing ourselves from them. For example, in some cultures, silence is perceived as shyness, in others, as wisdom. Who is right?

The Role of Emotions: Judgments are often linked to fears or desires. Judging someone as 'irresponsible' can hide a fear of abandonment. Cassie, on the other hand, acts without projecting her fears onto other cats.

Conclusion: Living Without Judgment, a Path to Inner Freedom

Freeing ourselves from judgments is not an easy task, but it's a journey worth taking. By observing our thoughts and learning to see the world with curiosity and openness, we can live a more serene and authentic life. Cassie, with her silent wisdom, reminds us that life is much more beautiful when we live it without judgments.

Invitation to Experiment: And if, today, you observed a situation or person as Cassie would—without labels, with curiosity? What would that change in you?